reading Proverbs 1 and 2 is so humbling. Not listening to Wisdom call out can be detrimental. I am at a crossroads in my life, or at least one is approaching very soon, and I don't know if it is a commit problem, or I am just terrible at making decisions, but I am on a roller coaster of peace and anxiety. I need to figure out which nursing school I should go to, or if I should go to nursing school. I have to trust.
I read today how we are never happy with how God is in control. Sometimes we want Him to completely do everything for us, and sometimes we want Him to just step aside. Overall I have to trust that there is a plan, and even though I don't know it, I can still be used as long as there is no sin in my life.
Mrs. Mickbben, the mother of the family I am living with this semester was telling me about the verse in Psalms that talks about His word being a lamp unto my feet. Well she explained that the lamp back then is nothing like what we have today, no headlights or LED flashlights. It was just enough light to take one step, then just enough light to take another step. I can't get stuck in feeling like, maybe I missed something, or what if I ruin my life. These are silly when you consider our Maker.
My favorite picture is of a parent pushing a kid in a toy car, the kid can try to steer, but ultimately, the parent is deciding the direction the toy car goes. The face the kid makes when they try to make a sharp right turn but can't is the face my heart makes. But what the kid (and myself) don't notice is the wall that the car would have hit taking that right turn.
Proverbs 2:10-11
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