I should be studying. But I cannot help but just mention a little about what's been going on. This morning my pastor spoke about the Holy Spirit. I've been reading a little of the book Forgotten God by Francis Chan so I was excited to hear of a similar topic. He read Acts 2. Read it. Call me crazy but I just want to know what that "sound like a mighty rushing wind" sounded like. Granted, I am terribly afraid of any type of bad weather, but here it is just a sound. I have also been dwelling on the first beatitude, "blessed are the poor in spirit" How blessed we are when we realize our every moment need for the Spirit!
Here are just some notes from this morning:
Every believer receives the Holy Spirit, but not every believer is filled with the Spirit.
Not a big fan on formulas, but what does it look like to be filled with the Spirit?
Submitting yourself completely to God
Confess and renounce known sin
Realize His full forgiveness
Let Him take back lost territory in life (healing what sin damaged)
Be filled with the Holy Spirit by faith (the same faith as when you first believed)
My pastor pulled up a chair and sat down. And with complete silence he held open his hands and led the church in prayer to receive the Holy Spirit.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Monday, May 7, 2012
the calm before the storm
While I am here, between seasons, I can see that it is the calm before the storm. It has been a long journey to get here. Last year was the hardest year of my
life. In January 2011, God shifted
my desire from wanting to be a doctor to becoming a nurse. To be honest, I was a little upset that
He waited till my junior year at Mississippi State to show me this. I could have easily taken two years at State and then two
years at Nursing School and received the degree I need to become a nurse. But I trusted that He knew best, and I
remembered 1 Corinthians 15:58 saying nothing done for the Lord is vain.
It
was not until that fall that I saw a glimpse of something God had for me, short term missions. I already had a heart
for South America after taking 4 years of Spanish in high school, so I started
looking into different organizations.
And then the doors started closing, one after the other. This confused me more than ever. I knew I was supposed to go, but
nothing was working out for me. Without
a clear answer I took a job as a nanny.
Someone wise told me that you cannot be guided unless you are moving, so
I knew I should not just sit at home all semester. Peru was on my mind and I was restless. I remember lying in bed one night and I
boldly asked God, “show me what to do about Peru tomorrow!” The next day, I went to Starkville and
had dinner with one of my friends. She causally mentioned that her church was going to Peru at
the end of May. My heart jumped
and I accidentally interrupted her and asked if I could go! There it was, my answer!
Tomorrow,
I will begin my last week as a nanny to the most precious newborn baby
ever. I will be ending a season of
my life, and begin on a heart wrenching, sleep deprived year at nursing school!
(That is what they tell me). But I
am ready. And I will be starting
this journey the best way possible, sharing the gospel in Peru.
“Sing to the Lord, all the Earth; proclaim his salvation
day after day. Declare his glory
among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples.”
1 Chronicles 16:23,24
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Do not shed a tear.
Imagine living in Starkville with your wife that you love and adore. Then God tells you that He is going to take her away in order to warn the MSU student body of things to come. He then tells you that you cannot mourn your wife's death so that you can be an example for them...
WHAT?
I can see that Ezekiel has so much faith in chapter 24. I'm sorry, but please don't sign me up to become a prophet. I never knew how much pain he had to suffer. God took away his wife "the delight of his eye". God told him to only "groan quietly" (v. 17) Note God's sympathy that we don't comprehend, God knew his heart, and that it would be impossible for him to not feel anything at the death of his wife. But the even crazier part of this is looking at how much God loves his people.
He did this to warn them, to give them a specific instructions on what to do when a trial was about to come. (v. 22-23) Why? Verse 24 says so that "you will know that I am the Sovereign Lord".
This shows us another way we can experience our sovereign Lord, to obey Him. I can sing praises all day long but in order to fully experience His sovereignty in my life comes from obeying Him.
Later in that chapter it talks about how "others will see that I am Sovereign Lord". How will others know who reigns in your life? Will they know that the God you serve is the same God that is reigning in your life? Because remember, we cannot serve two masters. (Matt 6:24) Also, "we must obey God rather than men!" (Acts 5:29). Ezekiel lived out a good example of this; I doubt I would even come close to this type of obedience. Trusting, serving, and obeying Him are all intertwined to bring forth glory to God.
If you boldly ask God to strengthen your faith, serve only Him, AND obey Him, then it will be known that He is Sovereign Lord of your life.
Jesus asks us a simple question in Luke 18:8. When He returns, will He find FAITH on the earth?
When you stand before the throne, will He say, "good and faithful SERVANT?"(Matt 25:21)
WHAT?
I can see that Ezekiel has so much faith in chapter 24. I'm sorry, but please don't sign me up to become a prophet. I never knew how much pain he had to suffer. God took away his wife "the delight of his eye". God told him to only "groan quietly" (v. 17) Note God's sympathy that we don't comprehend, God knew his heart, and that it would be impossible for him to not feel anything at the death of his wife. But the even crazier part of this is looking at how much God loves his people.
He did this to warn them, to give them a specific instructions on what to do when a trial was about to come. (v. 22-23) Why? Verse 24 says so that "you will know that I am the Sovereign Lord".
This shows us another way we can experience our sovereign Lord, to obey Him. I can sing praises all day long but in order to fully experience His sovereignty in my life comes from obeying Him.
Later in that chapter it talks about how "others will see that I am Sovereign Lord". How will others know who reigns in your life? Will they know that the God you serve is the same God that is reigning in your life? Because remember, we cannot serve two masters. (Matt 6:24) Also, "we must obey God rather than men!" (Acts 5:29). Ezekiel lived out a good example of this; I doubt I would even come close to this type of obedience. Trusting, serving, and obeying Him are all intertwined to bring forth glory to God.
If you boldly ask God to strengthen your faith, serve only Him, AND obey Him, then it will be known that He is Sovereign Lord of your life.
Jesus asks us a simple question in Luke 18:8. When He returns, will He find FAITH on the earth?
When you stand before the throne, will He say, "good and faithful SERVANT?"(Matt 25:21)
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Would you care to explain?
Luke 18:31
Jesus Foretells His Death a THIRD Time:
So I'm reading this passage and I'm thinking, why does Jesus explain this again, I mean you would think that they would have gotten it by now. But look at verse 34, "But they understood none of these things. This saying was hidden from them, and they did not grasp what was said."
It says "This saying was hidden from them". Why would Jesus take time to explain something so important to his disciples if he KNEW they would not understand it? What is the point?
I think about my life (I am a thinker). And if I am having a bad day and someone asks me about it, I just shrug them off. Why? Well, because all day I have already thought through my situation so many times, at many different angles, so it is emotionally exhausting for me to have to explain it to someone unless they are part of the solution, unless they will completely UNDERSTAND. If I know they won't, then I just don't waste my time. I just give it to God and I feel like this is energy efficient for me. But in the passage above, Christ is inefficient with his emotional energy. Here me out. He cared enough to go through this explanation of the day he will die for the world, knowing that it will be hidden from them!
For a long time, I blamed the disciples, they are so stupid, why do they not understand?! But it was not their fault, it was hidden from them. This, to me, is a great illustration. This illustrates to me that I should not shut down and not have community just because it is emotionally exhausting sometimes. But there is a bigger picture to this.
This shows us a picture of the God we serve. Jesus explains to them when he knows they won't understand. God calls us, even when He knows we won't go. He reveals things to us, when He knows we won't understand them. He talks to us, when He knows we won't listen. Why? Because He loves us so much, that He is in a constant pursuit of us. Beautiful.
Have you ever been in a relationship of unrequited love? I have. I feel like God brings us through those trials to show us just a GLIMPSE of what it feels like to Him when we reject Him. Of course, this is only a glimpse, because I never died for anyone, nor did I conquer death for anyone and have them not care about me. It hurts just to be in love with someone who doesn't feel the same way, we will never understand. (1 Corinthians 9:13) But that is o.k. because the substance belongs to Christ (Colossians 2:17).
Be still today and acknowledge that He is constantly pursuing you, His beloved.
Jesus Foretells His Death a THIRD Time:
So I'm reading this passage and I'm thinking, why does Jesus explain this again, I mean you would think that they would have gotten it by now. But look at verse 34, "But they understood none of these things. This saying was hidden from them, and they did not grasp what was said."
It says "This saying was hidden from them". Why would Jesus take time to explain something so important to his disciples if he KNEW they would not understand it? What is the point?
I think about my life (I am a thinker). And if I am having a bad day and someone asks me about it, I just shrug them off. Why? Well, because all day I have already thought through my situation so many times, at many different angles, so it is emotionally exhausting for me to have to explain it to someone unless they are part of the solution, unless they will completely UNDERSTAND. If I know they won't, then I just don't waste my time. I just give it to God and I feel like this is energy efficient for me. But in the passage above, Christ is inefficient with his emotional energy. Here me out. He cared enough to go through this explanation of the day he will die for the world, knowing that it will be hidden from them!
For a long time, I blamed the disciples, they are so stupid, why do they not understand?! But it was not their fault, it was hidden from them. This, to me, is a great illustration. This illustrates to me that I should not shut down and not have community just because it is emotionally exhausting sometimes. But there is a bigger picture to this.
This shows us a picture of the God we serve. Jesus explains to them when he knows they won't understand. God calls us, even when He knows we won't go. He reveals things to us, when He knows we won't understand them. He talks to us, when He knows we won't listen. Why? Because He loves us so much, that He is in a constant pursuit of us. Beautiful.
Have you ever been in a relationship of unrequited love? I have. I feel like God brings us through those trials to show us just a GLIMPSE of what it feels like to Him when we reject Him. Of course, this is only a glimpse, because I never died for anyone, nor did I conquer death for anyone and have them not care about me. It hurts just to be in love with someone who doesn't feel the same way, we will never understand. (1 Corinthians 9:13) But that is o.k. because the substance belongs to Christ (Colossians 2:17).
Be still today and acknowledge that He is constantly pursuing you, His beloved.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
My God, My God, why have I forsaken YOU?
reading Proverbs 1 and 2 is so humbling. Not listening to Wisdom call out can be detrimental. I am at a crossroads in my life, or at least one is approaching very soon, and I don't know if it is a commit problem, or I am just terrible at making decisions, but I am on a roller coaster of peace and anxiety. I need to figure out which nursing school I should go to, or if I should go to nursing school. I have to trust.
I read today how we are never happy with how God is in control. Sometimes we want Him to completely do everything for us, and sometimes we want Him to just step aside. Overall I have to trust that there is a plan, and even though I don't know it, I can still be used as long as there is no sin in my life.
Mrs. Mickbben, the mother of the family I am living with this semester was telling me about the verse in Psalms that talks about His word being a lamp unto my feet. Well she explained that the lamp back then is nothing like what we have today, no headlights or LED flashlights. It was just enough light to take one step, then just enough light to take another step. I can't get stuck in feeling like, maybe I missed something, or what if I ruin my life. These are silly when you consider our Maker.
My favorite picture is of a parent pushing a kid in a toy car, the kid can try to steer, but ultimately, the parent is deciding the direction the toy car goes. The face the kid makes when they try to make a sharp right turn but can't is the face my heart makes. But what the kid (and myself) don't notice is the wall that the car would have hit taking that right turn.
Proverbs 2:10-11
I read today how we are never happy with how God is in control. Sometimes we want Him to completely do everything for us, and sometimes we want Him to just step aside. Overall I have to trust that there is a plan, and even though I don't know it, I can still be used as long as there is no sin in my life.
Mrs. Mickbben, the mother of the family I am living with this semester was telling me about the verse in Psalms that talks about His word being a lamp unto my feet. Well she explained that the lamp back then is nothing like what we have today, no headlights or LED flashlights. It was just enough light to take one step, then just enough light to take another step. I can't get stuck in feeling like, maybe I missed something, or what if I ruin my life. These are silly when you consider our Maker.
My favorite picture is of a parent pushing a kid in a toy car, the kid can try to steer, but ultimately, the parent is deciding the direction the toy car goes. The face the kid makes when they try to make a sharp right turn but can't is the face my heart makes. But what the kid (and myself) don't notice is the wall that the car would have hit taking that right turn.
Proverbs 2:10-11
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Picking up my Sword
I always love reading Psalms. I find myself relating to David when he talks about how he feels when he sins, that it feels like a sickness. I also find myself relating to David when he talks about music and singing shouts to the Lord. I love that all throughout he talks about the Lord as his shield. and Psalm 27 has always been my favorite.
But there was always one thing that I could not really relate on, when David talks about his adversaries. I never really thought, yea I have this enemy and this enemy and they are attacking me. But I have a different opinion when I read through the Psalms now and I have added another way that I can relate to David.
I had a spiritually dry summer. (You may have been able to tell due to the lack of blogs) There is no other excuse for this other than me rebelling against God and not staying in His Word.
I have a best friend who loves the Lord named Branden Leone. But with him I live by Song of Solomon's 4:12 picture of a locked garden, a sealed fountain. I do not rely on him for renewing of my heart, because that is dangerous. Also, I did not have the privilege of having my girl friends in town to fellowship with. Now that I have that privilege back, I will never take advantage of it again.
The enemy has had it's turn with me and he is clever and cunning. I will never underestimate his power again.
"The Lord is my light and my salvation--whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life--of whom shall I be afraid?"
But there was always one thing that I could not really relate on, when David talks about his adversaries. I never really thought, yea I have this enemy and this enemy and they are attacking me. But I have a different opinion when I read through the Psalms now and I have added another way that I can relate to David.
I had a spiritually dry summer. (You may have been able to tell due to the lack of blogs) There is no other excuse for this other than me rebelling against God and not staying in His Word.
I have a best friend who loves the Lord named Branden Leone. But with him I live by Song of Solomon's 4:12 picture of a locked garden, a sealed fountain. I do not rely on him for renewing of my heart, because that is dangerous. Also, I did not have the privilege of having my girl friends in town to fellowship with. Now that I have that privilege back, I will never take advantage of it again.
The enemy has had it's turn with me and he is clever and cunning. I will never underestimate his power again.
"The Lord is my light and my salvation--whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life--of whom shall I be afraid?"
Monday, June 6, 2011
Healer
I should be studying right now. I really should be studying right now. But I am just too full of good news to sit still with another species of fish in front of me.. perciformes centrarchidae erimyzon oblongus...
So everyone remembers that you must remove the plank from your own eye before worrying about the toothpick in your neighbor's eye? Well I got to experience this first hand. I went to the bookstore the other day and I was getting a book for my friend for her birthday. I thought, maybe she would like a book about contentment, or maybe a devotional book. Little did I know I had come into the bookstore that day for myself. I went to the Christian section (like good Christians do haha) and I said, "Lord help me find something" and before I could say "for her" I was looking at this book that caught my eye. I picked it up and low and behold Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow was in my hands. I read the back of the book and knew that God wanted me to read this. So I bought it (and almost forgot to get my friend a present). As I'm turning each page, it is directed to me. You ever read something and think, this was written for me.. yea I had that feeling. People who believe in coincidences are blind to the workings of the Lord.
"Be not wise in you own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones." - Prov. 3:7
You ever start off a prayer by saying, "here I am again...." or "Im back in this again, Lord"..? story of my life. Whether it is worrying, unfaithfulness, or just not listening to anything that He says. Sometimes I don't want to pray because I feel like my heart is not prepared or I am not worthy enough, or I can fix it, I don't want to be a bother. I actually have to remind myself that a broken and contrite heart is what He seeks out to heal. All we need to bring to the Healer is a need
I am overwhelmed with his grace and the song "How He Loves" puts it the best way in saying that if grace is an ocean, I'm drowning.
So everyone remembers that you must remove the plank from your own eye before worrying about the toothpick in your neighbor's eye? Well I got to experience this first hand. I went to the bookstore the other day and I was getting a book for my friend for her birthday. I thought, maybe she would like a book about contentment, or maybe a devotional book. Little did I know I had come into the bookstore that day for myself. I went to the Christian section (like good Christians do haha) and I said, "Lord help me find something" and before I could say "for her" I was looking at this book that caught my eye. I picked it up and low and behold Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow was in my hands. I read the back of the book and knew that God wanted me to read this. So I bought it (and almost forgot to get my friend a present). As I'm turning each page, it is directed to me. You ever read something and think, this was written for me.. yea I had that feeling. People who believe in coincidences are blind to the workings of the Lord.
"Be not wise in you own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones." - Prov. 3:7
You ever start off a prayer by saying, "here I am again...." or "Im back in this again, Lord"..? story of my life. Whether it is worrying, unfaithfulness, or just not listening to anything that He says. Sometimes I don't want to pray because I feel like my heart is not prepared or I am not worthy enough, or I can fix it, I don't want to be a bother. I actually have to remind myself that a broken and contrite heart is what He seeks out to heal. All we need to bring to the Healer is a need
I am overwhelmed with his grace and the song "How He Loves" puts it the best way in saying that if grace is an ocean, I'm drowning.
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